It takes a Lot to know a

First and foremost; I write for myself.

Second and twicemost.

Third and thricemost; I write for the void.

Journal writing started at 16. It began, and relieved much anxiety. It organized any spin and scattered tendencies. Organizing chaos to it’s best ability and encouraging myself to know myself a little better. The first two months we’re written vigilantly, after that- there were no barricades. The diaries were very much hidden. A cautionary sentence usually adorned the first page. Read at own digression. If you were in my life, you were in my diary; in many, if not all the shades of grey.

A few months ago, all the diaries, journals, reflections were placed in a fire.

Nine years worth of pages, peeling and smoldering in dancing flames. White Rabbit, White Rabbit– as the words turned smoke; the wind shoveling them graciously back into the eyes. Re-visiting a history of tears once shed.

Since this event, I haven’t written in a diary. Ideas and concepts are jotted in various forms, on various pages, ready for exploration. But no rants, or personal reflections. Everything seems to be very much within the public eye now. My art has become the journal, and instead of it being hidden under the bed, it is on display for all to see. I’m unsure if this is a natural progression of self analysis, or merely something that has just happened.

Having a single person read or view; is enough to fuel the fire, dust embers and continue the burn long into the void.

Thank you,

&

much love.

8 responses to It takes a Lot to know a

  1. I usually read your articles twice Jessie, sometimes in succession, sometimes a day apart. If you are primarily writing for yourself, then it would suggest to me that this is a very good idea. Much love back to you, Hariod.

    • Jessie Martinovic – Author

      and now you can see how much that mean’s to me/is/that/you 🙂

      yes, since I have been more true to myself, readers have dropped off, but the site is more real than ever, and forever changing, something that also feels true

    • Jessie Martinovic – Author

      oh, thank you Tony, that is so beautiful to hear and I feel very much blessed having you read 🙂

    • Jessie Martinovic – Author

      beautiful 🙂

      yes, someone suggested it, a lady, and it has been the best gift to myself ever.

  2. Thanks for sharing this…thrilling and empowering…the kind of progression (for whatever reason) that gives other writers goosebumps and inspiration. Thank you also for checking out my 365 day journey around the sun and following. All the best on your journey!

    • Jessie Martinovic – Author

      oh your words are so kind and provide the same feeling for me. To inspire gives one such deep gratitude and a feeling of purpose, thank you.

      I look forward to reading more sunny posts, even though I lost my glasses a couple months ago 🙂

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