“It’s all momentary,” said the moment.

The moment wasn’t anything special; but it was a moment. The way the white cockatoo prepared its feet. A pin-prick-eye-zoom with a backlash of a timeless expanse. Unaware in a moment of awareness. I found myself; when I hadn’t known I was lost, shivering in overwhelming sensation, tears flew down my cheeks. A boat drove past. Passengers looked concerned.

“is that your car in the lot with the P plate?”

With no control; highly convulsive, expressive body movements. Peepers fluttered in puffy dismay. Facing the voice; that could have well been a cloud or an apricot farmer. Beautiful toned absurdity amongst blurry vision. Bird-foot-rock-land type beauty. Bird-foot-rock-land type moment. Having not heard a single voice for days, I just starred blankly at the figure. My head turned from side to side as a clown game. An inner knowing, knew which way to swing the head in order to give answers. Another figure appeared, alongside, eyes startled. Either flaunt with fright, or beating herself up about not reaching such a place.

Hysterical laughter shivering on the grass. Alone.

Laughing about something. Possibly the loveliness of such a quality contradiction. An overwhelming perceived height; the rug slipped out, a mundane reality slap and all of a sudden, there were no variables. It was the perfect mixture of being. A goodness gracious moment. Nothing and everything at once. A stamped mirror feeling. An absolute roar from the depths of my belly. Complete madness – complete freedom.

“who are you trying to prove yourself too”

Trapped; again. Yet the bars seem spaghetti like.

The gong. Which gong, this gong, was this gong, that gong, or that gong. It’s the last session for the day. Breathe. Sit. Rest.

This is the first I’ve written about my experience with Vipassana.This was day 6. It was a day.

2 responses to “It’s all momentary,” said the moment.

    • Jessie Martinovic – Author

      You most probably informally meditate Tony, as most people do anyway. Patience is something cultivated. For me it was an utter necessity, for when I began meditating, my life was extremely chaotic, I had no control, and my anxiety had reached a point of not very niceness.

      This is an ‘extreme’ reflective story, but even going to a 10-day silence retreat is ‘extreme’.

      I would say though, that meditation, or more so just sitting/resting/being/existing is a natural state we seem to have lost, and creating a ‘formal’ reason to be, and re-integrate into our lives, can’t be anything other than beneficial 🙂

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